Forgetfulness
by LeviosaLove
Summary: (Because sometimes, it's better not to remember. And sometimes, it's infinitely worse.) Remus never forgot what he was,(How could he?) but there were times he wanted to. And one night, everyone forgot. And then they all remembered. RemusxMary (Because sometimes, a near disaster can be the best thing that ever happened to you.) Canon Compliant.
1. Chapter 1

_**Forgetfulness, Chapter 1**_

_In which everyone forgets_

* * *

Remus Lupin honestly had no idea how he ended up in a broom closet. With Mary MacDonald. On the night of a full moon. Locked in…

He was going to kill James and Sirius.

Hopefully not literally.

Oh, Merlin.

لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.

It all started because his friends thought he needed a snog.

"James, Sirius; we've been over this. Peter even gets it, and that's saying something. Now for the last time, I don't need, or want, to snog some random girl!" he said exasperatedly, slamming his DADA textbook and glaring at his friends.

"But Moo-neeey! It'll make you more fuu-uun!" whined Sirius

"Yeah, help you, ahem, lighten up a bit" said James, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, earning himself a textbook to the face.

As James yelped and threw the textbook across the room, Sirius persisted "Oh, come on, Rem! It's our fifth year, and you still haven't gotten anywhere romance-wise! What if it wasn't some random girl, what if it was a certain Gryffindor in our year? No, Prongs, not Evans." he said exasperatedly, cutting off James' outraged interruption.

Catching on, James picked it up. "We know you fancy her, Remus. At least try and s-"

Remus stood up, shaking his head. "No, no, and no! This conversation is over." He walked to the portrait hole, and his two friends followed him.

"Where do you think you're going, with denial all over your face like that? It's not healthy. " said James, trying to get in front of him.

"Patrols, you know, because I'm a prefect. It's what happens when you're responsible- Or, at least, aren't in detention quite as much as your friends."

James and Sirius shrugged as Remus eyed them accusingly, and James smirked "Guilty, but why should being a prefect stop you from-"

Remus cut him off with a raised eyebrow, saying " You also don't snog- or worse- a different random girl in the nearest broom closet every-single-time your poor traumatized friend is on patrol. " he said accusingly.

"Ah, you've wounded me deeply!" cried Sirius, clutching his chest. "That time of the month, Moony?" he added, winking as Remus rolled his eyes.

"Great, we'll come with you." said James cheerfully, basically ignoring the entire conversation so far.

"Oh, no, you won't- You've got homework to finish- and besides, you know we've got a long night tonight." Remus said firmly, his voice dropping to a whisper, but the two had stopped listening, and were whispering and looking past him at Marlene McKinnon, who was staring at them like they were loony (Probably because they looked it, I mean, this _is_ James Potter and Sirius Black we're talking about…)

After about a minute of this, Remus announced "You guys know I'm right here, don't you?" The two started, and gave him sheepish, shifty grins.

"Oh, right. Well, you go on to your patrols, nothing to worry about here." said James, steering Remus out the portrait hole.

Sirius called "Have fun being responsible, and look out for those broom closets!" Waving goodbye, the two slammed the portrait shut.

James and Sirius advanced towards Marlene with scarily mischievous smiles, and she immediately abandoned her textbook, and tried to walk away, but they grabbed her arm, and sat her down in one of the poufy armchairs all around the common room Before either one could open their mouth, she pointed a stern finger at them, and aid "No, No, and No. Noooo."

Looking hurt, Sirius said "Aw, McKinnon, you didn't even let me finish!"

James looked at his childhood friend pleadingly, and said "Marlene, come on."

She puffed out air and looked at them suspiciously as Sirius seized the moment "How'd you like to tell us something you won't be supposed to tell us, for, er-"

James interrupted, seeing Marlene's eyebrows fly up, saying "Let's call it, for the benefit of our friends, accordingly benefitting our mutual bond and Hogwarts in general by eliminating on of the most obvious romantic stalemates in the entirety of Scotland?"

Marlene leaned forward. "Now, I'm intrigued." They all shared a smirk, and Marlene leaned back, stroking her chin, and said "Go on…"

لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.

Remus shook his head bemusedly at his friends' antics, and half to himself said "I will." He walked down the corridor, and started his afternoon rounds. Normally they only patrolled at night, but since the rumors about a certain dark wizard had started spreading, afternoon patrols were assigned on free days. Remus had drawn the short straw, but he didn't complain. He liked going on rounds, it gave him time to think. Of course, he rather wished he didn't have to today. He never wanted to do much of anything on the day before a full moon, but then he couldn't sit still either.

So there he was, strolling through the sparsely peopled corridors of Hogwarts, looking for anything out of the ordinary, dangerous, or Dark-ish. Ironic, he reflected, that probably the most atypical, dangerous, Dark-ish thing in the castle was he himself. It was times like these, around others, even the diminished number wandering the halls, that he truly realized just how much of a danger he was. If he was ever, god forbid, loose in the castle… All that human flesh…

He realized his mouth was watering, and he spat in disgust, terrified at the blood-thirsty thoughts and instincts filling his mind. He realized that in his fear, his concealment Charms had fallen, and his scars were visible. After a moment of panic, they were back up, and Remus glanced around furtively, but there were few people passing, and none seemed to notice the shabby prefect-blending in as always, Remus thought bitterly.

He shook his head to clear it, and set off at a brisk pace towards the seldom-used corridors and empty classrooms he was assigned. His thoughts turned to the less morbid matter of broom closets. He'd caught too many couples using them for their snogging purposes to be entirely comfortable doing it himself. It was only made worse by the fact that half the time, Sirius was part of the couple. And almost never with the same girl, which Remus found especially disturbing.

It wasn't as if he minded not snogging anyone, in a broom closet, least of all. But it was true, romance-wise, Remus hadn't had much luck. Part of the problem could be that he didn't try. Like, at all. He didn't chase multiple girls like Padfoot, or stalk one like Prongs, or even moon over those out of his league, like Wormtail. He'd heard the girls in other houses call James and Sirius some strange things- bad boys, players, tragic-he's-taken, hunks- he recalled one time a girl had licked her lips while calling one( he wasn't sure which) a 'dish'. Mystified and disturbed, he'd shook his head, and laughed about it later with his appalled friends.

Well, he definitely wasn't any of those things, but at least he wasn't completely undesirable like poor Peter, vacationing in Bulgaria- in March. He was shabby and skinny and scarred- but mysterious and a Marauder.

Maybe he couldn't, even if he were to try, but Remus wasn't sure that was entirely true. His friends hounded him about it, but Remus just never got a girl. And if he was honest with himself, it was for a reason. What girl would have him if they knew? And how could he not tell them and still be with them? There was no point trying. Nothing could ever come of a relationship- marriage to a monster? A child ashamed of his father-maybe even like his father? Danger every month, prejudice at every turn? No, he could never endanger someone he loved like that- and there it was. If he loved them, he would keep them safe-and himself far away.

Strange, he mused, how it all seemed to come back to that- what he was. It's inescapable- It controls everything. His friends aren't bothered by it, it's easy for them to forget, but how can you when it's inside you every day? When you're a monster, you don't forget. Not for a second. The world won't let you.

Lost in his morbid thoughts, he had come to his destination, and automatically started patrolling, but as distracted as he was, it was doubtful if he'd see a hoard of Death Eaters riding on elephants marching out of the old charms classroom. But he did notice when he ran headlong into an equally distracted Mary MacDonald.

"Sorry!" they both said at the same time, and smiled.

"Me first." said Remus, chuckling and rubbing his head where it had connected with hers. "Sorry, just got lost in thought, I suppose."

Mary smiled knowingly. "Me too. So what are you doing down here? No one normally comes to this part of the castle, can't see why not."

Remus nodded agreement, noticing his surroundings for the first time. Tapestries and statues abounded, stunning even covered in a layer of dust. There was a clear view of the lake out the wide window, and sunlight shone in, illuminating the thousands of tiny floating dust particles, and making them seem- well, magical. Remus remembered she'd asked a question, and hurriedly answered "New rounds, for prefects in the afternoons."

She nodded, saying "Oh. I come down here to think, and to get away from it all. You know, at home it's always so quiet, just me and Da, and at Hogwarts there's so many people- sometimes it's nice to just be alone." She seemed embarrassed to have said that much, and ducked her head.

Mistaking that for a dismissal, Remus said, flushing embarrassedly, "Well, I'd better leave you to it-to be alone-"

"No, you can stay. That is, if you want to." said Mary, blushing slightly. Remus couldn't help but notice that she looked very, very pretty, with the sun shining on her golden-brown hair, tumbling almost to her elbows, her flushed cheeks, her sweet but nervous smile, and her warm hazel eyes.

"Oh. All right, then." he said rather awkwardly. They stood there, looking out the window at the lake, when Remus felt the need to tell her something.

"I know how you feel." he said, turning to look at her "About the quiet? It's just me and my mum at home, and we don't live near anyone, and here it's so different. Everyone is always talking and moving and doing, and sometimes it's nice just to think quietly, and be at peace."

She nodded, and turned to look at Remus, but he was gazing out over the lake again, his eyes far away, and he said "But sometimes it gets lonely."

Mary seemed to understand, and she said "Maybe we don't have to be alone." She bit her lip, not quite knowing what she meant by that, but when he turned to look back at her, he didn't look judgmental, and she continued "Maybe being at peace, finding that quiet, being safe in our own little worlds… Maybe we don't have to do it all by ourselves."

Remus' eyes seemed to fill, but then she blinked and the tears were gone, and she thought maybe it was a trick of the light, even if his eyes did look achingly sad. "Yeah." he said quietly, almost to himself. "Maybe…"

And so they stood there for a while, almost touching but not quite, gazing out over the lake in the afternoon sunlight, each completely at peace, completely quiet, altogether lost in their own little worlds. But they weren't alone. They were together. And that was enough.

_~end~_

_A/N Hello! Welcome to Forgetfulness (Which by the way is open for suggestions for a better title). Just so you know, my Mary is a blood-traitor- Her Dad followed his arranged marriage originally, but then Mary was born and his wife died, then he remarried a muggle (Who was killed by the Death Eaters a few years ago.) So yeah. This does end up being canon-compliant, and I hope you like it! I'd love to hear your thoughts, constructive crit is always appreciated. A HUGE shoutout to MarauderLover009, without me bouncing ideas off of them, this story wouldn't be up. If you like Marauder-era, read her stuff it's great. That's all, please enjoy!_

_Love, Leviosa_


	2. Chapter 2

**Forgetfulness**

**Chapter 2**

_**~In which a joke has yet unremembered consequences~**_

_I don't own any of the characters, concepts, or franchises you may recognize. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

The peaceful, companionable silence was broken by a vase falling off a table, and a mumbled swear word, and a shushing noise. Remus started, and whipped his head around, he couldn't see a thing, except for a slight shimmer, which quickly faded. The air had shifted as well, as if there had been some kind of swift movement.

Mary looked utterly confused, but Remus smiled mischievously, his eyes knowing, and walked over to where the vase had fallen, adopting an exaggerated look of confusion, and bent to pick up a fragment, saying "I wonder what happened?" He heard a sharp intake of breath and felt something scurry away quickly, confirming his suspicions. He examined the fragment, and then tossed it carelessly away- directly towards the noise he'd heard. Another curse, louder and more emphatic this time, and Remus pretended not to hear.

By now, Mary was smiling as well, and walked over beside Remus, winking and saying "Pretty weird." She was a good actress, and looked totally innocent as she started kicking at the air, and saying "Gee, my foot's asleep!"

Biting back his laughter at the string of curses coming from the empty air, Remus mimicked her expression and said "Maybe we should sit down… right here looks like a good spot!" he said, pointing at the spot where the curses came from.

As they started to sit, there came a shout of "No!"

A thump was heard, and then a loud whisper "Shut it, Jamie, you'll blow our cover!"

Then an irritable "Don't call me Jamie! And Padfoot, they already know, they're just messing with us."

There was a silence. "Oh."

The cloak came off, and the two black haired marauders got to their feet sheepishly as Mary and Remus burst into helpless laughter at their expressions. Once they got their laughter under control, they glared at the two (or tried to, they were still laughing). "How long were you guys there?" asked Remus.

"Why? Something you didn't want us to see?" said Sirius, smirking.

The two's faces flushed, and they said fervently "No!"

"Ah, but your faces betray you! Not to worry, you naughty children, we only walked in moments ago." said James merrily.

Remus, still red but trying to regain some dignity, decided there was no point in arguing and focused on one of the most troubling questions. "Why are you here at all? Are you following me or something?"

"Ah, well about that" said Sirius, looking suspiciously sincere. "We wanted to tell you to look out for those broom closets."

Remus and Mary started to say in unison "Wha-"

But then James whipped his wand out, and said with a smirk "_Impedimenta_!" Time seemed to slow down to a crawl, but just for them. James and Sirius moved normally, while Remus and Mary felt like they were swimming in molasses, yet also strangely light.

"I think that one over there will work just fine." said James with a smirk, hoisting Mary up and throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Sirius did the same to Remus, and with little effort, they walked their slowly struggling burdens over to the (Really, guys? _Really?)_ broom closet just down the hall. There they rather unceremoniously dumped them on the floor. The door was slammed, and a charm was muttered "_Colloportus_!"

Remus couldn't speak, but the main thought running through his mind was "Shit!" But that quickly changed to imagining different, increasingly painful ways to kill his black-haired friends… Suddenly, the impediment jinx was lifted, and Sirius' voice called to them "Well, have fun, you two! Remus, remember what we talked about, and be safe! We'll be back… well, sometime."

"Guys, come on, let us out!" called Remus, though knowing his friends, they were perfectly capable of leaving him there. Capable, it seemed, and more than willing.

Mary joined in his efforts, though she took a more threatening approach. "Black, so help me, I'll gouge your eyes out with a muggle toothpick if you don't let. Us. Out. Now. And Potter, I swear to God-er, Merlin- I'll tell Lily!"

You could almost feel James smirking- _through the door_. "Lily-flower loves-" Remus and Mary groaned loudly, and James said "Ah, sod off, you two! You'll understand once you have a good snog!"

The two walked away, and over his shoulder Sirius called "Remus, this is your own fault for telling us these things. Mary, you can thank Marlene!" That got them both once again screaming at the pair, who just laughed and kept walking.

لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.

James turned to Sirius, and said "So when are we actually planning on letting them out?"

Sirius grinned evilly. "Well, I was thinking sometime around-NEVER!" He cackled demonically, causing frightened first and second years to scurry away.

James grinned, then sighed. "You know we can't leave them in there forever. It'd be like- _illegal_." He said this while glancing up and down the hall looking for teachers.

Sirius rolled his eyes "Like it isn't already. But fine. How about midnight?" James grinned and nodded, and they did their signature complicated secret handshake, complete with knocking their heads together, and spitting.

They froze as 6th year prefect Alice Fortescue opened her mouth, her eyebrows raised, then snapped it shut with a sigh. "You know what, I'm not even going to ask. Plausible deniability and all that. You boys just try not to get anyone killed, all right?" She looked at them sternly.

James looked at her with innocent eyes, and Sirius grinned, and said "Alice, have we ever mentioned how awesome you are?"

She smirked. "You could _stand_ to mention it more often. Now… run along." She shooed them off, shaking her head at the Marauders antics and wondering why the fifth years hadn't found her to hand off the patrol. Wasn't it Lupin's turn? She gave the Marauders backs a sharp look, then shrugged. There was no telling where he was when those two were involved.

لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.

Remus Lupin and Mary MacDonald screamed at the two until they knew they were long gone. As the footsteps faded, and they stopped yelling, they became aware of their situation; complete darkness, no foreseeable way out, and an extremely uncomfortable, very awkward position. After a moment that felt like an eternity, Remus got off of Mary, and they both got to their feet, mumbling apologies and if there was any light, you'd see them both turning bright red. After a moment, Remus said "So… Any idea how to get out of here?"

Mary shook her head, then remembered the darkness and said "None. I'm assuming you brought your wand?"

Remus brightened, and said "Yeah, I've got it right… No." his voice changed from hopeful to angry. "No, I don't believe it! God damn it, Sirius!"

Mary said in disbelief "He… took… No way…That little shit!"

Remus looked at her, torn between amusement and shock. She was normally quite shy, at least in class. He'd heard that she was quite outgoing with her friends, but he hadn't seen that side of her-until now. Gouging his best friend's eyes out with a toothpick? Or, possibly worse, telling Lily on his other best friend? And now calling Sirius Black, _the_ Sirius Black, a little shit? Jeez. He was starting to like this new Mary. 'And the old one…' nagged a little voice in the back of his mind that sounded a bit like Sirius. He shook his head in annoyance, and said ruefully "Yeah, you're telling me. Anyways, before we do anything, we need light. But without wands…"

Mary said doubtfully "I've heard that _Lumos_ can work without a wand, if you really concentrate. I tried it once with Lily, and it worked, but it was really tiring."

Remus was enthusiastic "Great! Let's try it! Together, right?"

Mary blushed and said "Well, erm, when Lil and I tried, we had to be, you know, touching. Two magic sources and all that."

"Oh." said Remus nervously. "Alright, then." They awkwardly grabbed hands, and intoned together with as much power as they could muster "_Lumos!"_

An orb of light appeared floating above them, illuminating their faces. With a start, Remus saw something different on Mary's- scars, two of them, long scratches along her face. She looked down at her hands, scarred as well, and with a cry, yanked her hands back and put them over her face.

The light faded to almost nothing, and Remus stood there, shocked, as Mary muttered a concealment charm over and over hysterically, to no avail. He worked up the courage, and asked cautiously "Mulciber… in third year. Did he… Is that… _Sectumsempra_?"

She nodded mutely, and Remus felt terrible anger flare up in his heart, at Snape for inventing the spell, at Mulciber for using it, at himself for not being able to prevent it, or even to make it better. But he couldn't help feel some kind of thrill. Here was someone like him, someone with a secret, someone with scars few had ever seen. He wanted to do for her what no one had done for him, until his friends came along.

So he gently reached up at her face, and grabbed her hands, taking them in his, and the light grew large and bright. He saw the full extent of the damage, and Mary couldn't figure it out, he wasn't flinching, or backing away, or reacting at all in the way she'd thought he would, feared he would.

He said gently "Your scars…"

Tears formed in her eyes, and spilled over, and she said "They're horrible. I know."

But he just shook his head, and cupped her face in one hand, holding her other, and tracing the lines of her scars. "They're beautiful." he said softly, wiping away her tears. "You're beautiful. And nothing will ever change that, Mary. I'm sorry it happened, I truly am. The scars on your face don't matter, but scars aren't only skin-deep, and there are plenty that can't be seen. Those are the ones that matter. Trust me, I know." And then, in a moment of reckless insanity, Remus Lupin dropped his concealment charm, and let himself be seen, truly seen.

Mary gasped, putting her hand to her mouth, seeing the scars covering his face and pretty much all visible parts of his body. "Remus…" She didn't know what could cause scars like that, but she wasn't going to pry. He hadn't and she knew how painful it was to talk about-well, whatever had happened.

They looked at each other like they were meeting for the first time, truly meeting, and in a way, I suppose they were. Mary saw in Remus' eyes that he knew what she was going through, had gone through it himself; understanding, which was comfort beyond any her wonderful friends could give her.

There was understanding, but there was pain, and anger and fear and shame, so much shame and sadness, but there was also joy and trust and love. And Mary hugged the skinny boy fiercely, and after an initial moment of shock, he held her tightly, and maybe they both cried a little, so what if they did? And maybe they needed one another to hold on to, to help them stand, does that make them weak? Or does it make them stronger? And maybe neither one even really wanted to let go, to stand on their own, and why should they? And maybe they stayed that way for a while, and what's the harm in that?

A/N_: What's the harm, indeed? ;)_

_Well, today was my first day of school. It's school, so meh.! It should be a good year, but seriously, where the heck did summer go? _

_The briht side: the amusement of watching my friends plan out a Craisin invasion. Also, this conversation:_

_" Be the bridge, Nathan."_

_"I can't I can't be the bridge to Terebithia, Chase."_

_"But why? Why not?"_

_"Because I am a boy, not a bri__dge."_

_Yup. It's been a long day. Reviews would make it better. :) Thanks for reading, and I remain,_

_your faithfully insane hopeful-writer,_

_Love, Leviosa_


	3. Chapter 3

**Forgetfulness**

_**~ In which everything comes crashing down~**_

* * *

Then Remus stepped back, and sheepishly ran his hands through his hair. "I probably shouldn't have done that, but right now I really don't care." he said, confusing Mary a little. His charms had gone back up, but he seemed almost relaxed. Mary's charm was back up too, and she felt strangely peaceful, and somehow stronger.

The orb of light above them was shining steadily, its light almost golden, and it wasn't draining their strength any more, rather, it had a life of its own, pulsing in time with their heartbeats. They both noticed, and stared at it in wonder for an endless moment, and then looked back at each other, smiling with absurd happiness. "So, it looks as if we're going to be here for a while…" said Remus, looking more at ease than she'd ever seen him.

"Yeah," said Mary, not quite as unhappy about that fact as she'd been at the start. "I'm going to kill Marlene- and those friends of yours."

"Can I help?" Remus chuckled. "And you know, the most disturbing thing was that they planned this. Our friends literally premeditatedly kidnapped us and locked us in a broom closet."

Mary looked disturbed, but couldn't help giggling. "Just like Marly too; you know, she and Sirius had a plan to do this to James and Lily?"

Remus looked incredulous, and said ruefully "James'd be dead in five minutes- or they'd start snogging in ten. So I guess depending on her purpose, it could work- Marlene McKinnon, Murderer or Matchmaker?"

"Very true," said Mary, shaking her head. "You know they'll both get over themselves and just bloody get together- eventually. But with Lily's stubbornness and James'-sorry- arrogance, it might be a while. She's convinced herself she hates him, and all his confessions of love don't seem to be helping matters. Those two…I'm almost tempted to lock them in myself." They shared a laugh at their clueless friends, then Mary continued "But why us?"

Remus turned a bit red. "Well, my friends-complete and utter idiots, you understand- were bugging me about- that is- girls- you, in particular- and, you know- broom closets." he finished lamely. Mary was watching him, a shy, amused smile on her lips-her lips…

Remus came back to earth in time to salvage the moment and say "So why'd those two say you could thank Marlene?"

Now it was Mary's turn to blush as she said "I really am going to kill her… She must've told them-" Here she clamped her mouth shut, going fire-engine red, and not meeting Remus' gently amused gaze. "We were talking about the Marauders, and I said they might not be all bad"

Remus raised his eyebrows, and said softly "You said that? I know James and Sirius harass you just as much as they harass Lily- or anyone for that matter."

Mary shrugged, and continued "Well, Lily kind of scoffed, and I said 'I know you're at least friends with Remus, and he's decent. And he never bugs us like Black and Potter."

"But I never stop them either." said Remus apologetically.

Mary waved his apology off, and continued hurriedly. "She kind of shrugged, and then I-I said 'It's like he thinks he doesn't deserve to be here, like he's afraid of something-And the others know what it is.' I don't know why I- But- It's true."

She looked a bit defensive, but Remus just sighed heavily, and muttered under his breath. "That obvious, huh?"

Mary bit her lip. "Then she-Lily- went all pale, and said she was going to bed, and it was like 5 o'clock, so we were all pretty confused."

Remus shook his head incredulously. "Subtle, Lily. Very subtle"

Mary gave him a strange look, but continued "Then Marly started bugging me about getting a boyfriend just because she's got a hundred little boy-toys-" She blushed and decided to just stop talking.

Remus broke it down. "So basically we both have meddling friends who think we have romance issues and need to be locked in a broom closet- together."

Mary smiled sadly. "Pretty much. But they're right about the romance problems. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I just don't feel the need to snog anyone in the middle of the common room, but then I probably couldn't if I tried. I'm not exactly much of a looker."

Remus was almost angry at her for putting herself down like that. Couldn't she see how beautiful she was? "Come, on, Mary. How can you-" She was looking down at her shoes, and he raised her head so she was looking at him, and he said sincerely "I don't know who told you that, but right now I'm telling you that they were wrong. I wasn't just saying that earlier. You- You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, Mary."

She looked at him doubtfully. "Even with-"

He looked her in the eyes, no longer embarrassed. "Especially with. They're battle scars, they make you stronger, not any less than you were. And any way, it doesn't matter what you look like- not to the people that matter. You're sweet and funny and wise beyond your years, and you understand me better than my best friends, and- and you're shivering. Here…" he said with concern, taking off his warm cloak and placing it over her thin, shaking shoulders.

She instantly felt warmer, and realized all he was wearing was a muscle shirt, and a ragged pair of Muggle jeans. His light brown hair, with a hint of grey he was far too young to have, was messy, and it worked rather better for him than it did for Potter, or so at least she thought so. He was skinny, yes, but muscular…

His warm chocolate-brown eyes followed her gaze, and he blushed and said "Oh, I forgot- I had to look like I was in dress code for patrols, and I was in a hurry to escape my friends, so I just threw the cloak on. It's plenty warm, you've got to be cold, though."

"A bit, yeah." she said, slowly stopping shivering and smiling gratefully. "We've been in here for a while. It must be getting late… Probably dark already." Her words had a drastic effect on the young boy, his face filling with realization and fear as he backed away, upending the only actual broom in the closet and sending it clashing and clanging to the floor. Remus' back hit the wall and he slid to the ground. He had gone incredibly pale, and had his head clutched in his hands. What had she said? She stepped closer, and kneeled in front of him, placing a hand on his heaving shoulder. "Remus?" she whispered gently.

He looked up at her, horrified, his eyes far away. "What have they done? What have I done?"

_~end~_

_A/N: ... I don't have much to say. Everything is ending, and I'm not ready to grow up. _

_Thanks for reading my stories. You can't know how much it means to be heard._

_ I remain,_

_Love, Leviosa_


	4. Chapter 4

**Forgetfulness**

_**~ In which inches aren't enough~**_

* * *

Such was the horror in the eyes of the brave boy before her, Mary was beginning to be frightened herself. "Remus, what's happening? I don't understand…" she said, trying to keep calm.

"This can't be happening… I don't bloody believe it… I swore I'd never let this happen… It's tonight." Though she didn't understand why, that phrase, 'It's tonight,' had an ominous finality to it, especially when said in such a numb, hollow tone as it was.

The hollowness in Remus' eyes turned to blazing anger, and he punched the wall, then tore at his hair. "How could they be so stupid, so arrogant?! How could they forget?! How could I forget?! I didn't even notice it was getting late! This is why I can never…"

Mary was watching him in horror as he was transformed by anger, barely recognizable. There was something raw and primitive about it, something feral, but also achingly human. She didn't want to see him this way, and she said in a choked whisper "Remus… Please. Stop."

He seemed to have forgotten she was there, and then his eyes focused on her frightened expression, and his anger broke, and something inside him did too. "Why, damn them, why?" he said, his voice breaking as he reached out to her, and took her trembling hand. "Mary… I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what, Remus? You haven't done anything. How can I help you?"

He shook his head, and hung it, his eyes closed tightly, saying "Do you know what time it is?"

She looked at her watch and said "Um, 6:18. Why?"

He looked her in the eye. "We need to be out of here by 6:36, or…" He seemed to not be able to go on, and said "I need you to understand, to know- I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.

They sat there in silence for a while, maybe a minute, maybe an hour, as Remus' head filled with the horror story that was sure to unfold. The girl staring at him with such kindness in her eyes, ripped to pieces, and all because he let himself go for a minute, let himself believe that maybe he didn't have to be alone, maybe she could be there, beside him. But now she couldn't and would never be again, and it was because of him and the monster that he was, and damn him, damn him for not letting her live, and find someone better than him, and be happy, because he knew now she would never get the chance, and neither would anyone in his way once he broke through the now flimsy-seeming wood of the broom closet, the damned broom closet that had started it all.

If she died, he died as well. That went for anyone else, but especially her. It had always been his unspoken vow. If he bit, or killed another human being, well…he wouldn't be a danger any longer. And then he was filled with an overwhelming urge to tell Mary that he loved her, to kiss her before they both left this world, but of course he couldn't, no, that would be crueler than even the irony that came with wanting to.

And then, his world stopped for a moment, and then came the sound of- footsteps. Not daring to believe his ears, he asked Mary in a hoarse voice from the sobs he didn't know he had let escape, "Do you hear that?"

She was jolted out of her reverie, and listened, then nodded, her eyes brightening. They both jumped to their feet and pounded on the door, screaming as loudly as they could "Help us, we're in here- let us out, we're locked in- Listen to us- Help-Please-OVER HERE!" It was the last one that caused the footsteps to pause, and walk faster-in their direction. Remus whirled around, saying to Mary wildly "Time?"

She replied "6:29" His eyes filled with hope and he laughed aloud, and grabbed her around the middle and spun her around, until their moment of absurd joy was interrupted by a familiar voice calling "Hello?"

"Lily!" they both screamed, relieved beyond words.

"We're over here!" called Remus, and her voice answered in disbelief "Remus? What- I don't understand- Where are you?"

Mary called "In the broom closet, Lil!" then blushed as Lily responded incredulously "Mary? You too?! Well, well, well… How did this happen?"

Remus responded "James and Sirius… and Marlene. Lily, open the door."

Lily responded jokingly "Ah, now I see. Did it work- That is, was their motivation fulfilled?" Remus had grabbed Mary's wrist and paled, the time was now 6:31. Five minutes.

He said desperately, almost shouting "Lily, open the damn door. It's tonight. It's tonight and it's about to happen." There was a gasp, and then the sound of Lily starting to run, then skidding to a halt. She asked, completely serious now "_Colloportus_?" Without waiting for an answer, she performed the counter-spell, and the two burst out of the door and into the now-dark corridor.

Remus turned to Lily, whose face was pale. He gripped her by the shoulders and said "Go get James and Sirius. Tell them to hurry. Quickly. Please, Lily." He turned to a confused Mary and said "Mary, please remember. I'm sorry, and you are strong and beautiful, and-"

Then he kissed her, and their lips touched for a few seconds, and it was bittersweet and sincere and simple and real. And then he broke away, stumbling down the hall and breaking into a run, calling over his shoulder "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He kept running, faster than he ever had in his life, his vision blurred by tears. "God, am I sorry."

_~end~_

* * *

_A/N: Hello! Sorry It's been so long, I've been crazy busy, and not super-confident about this story. I guess I'm spoiled by th the reviews on my others, and there are so many marauder-era romances out there. Thanks for reading mine! _

_So... yeah. Maybe double update today. If you want it. But how should I know what you want unless you tell me? ;p_

_Thanks for reading, sorry about my little episode last time. A shout-out to reviewer RMoors for her kind words._

_Love, Leviosa_


	5. Chapter 5

**Forgetfulness**

_**~ In which nightmares are born~**_

_I don't own any of the characters, concepts, or franchises you may recognize. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

Lily stood there for a moment next to a shocked Mary, shocked herself, then she shook herself, and taking Mary by the hand, started to run, back towards the common room. Mary seemed to come back to earth, clutched Remus' cloak tighter around her shoulders, and tried to understand, asking frantically "Lily, what-he just-why- Is he okay?"

Lily looked at her friend, panting slightly as they dashed through the corridors. "Mary, I promise I'll explain later, but right now we've got to go find the two idiots whose fault it is that we're in this mess and tell them to get their stupid, arrogant arses over to help their friend and make sure everyone makes it back alive." The two reached the portrait, and skidded to a stop. Lily started to repeat the password "Albus Percival Wulfric Bri-"

The Fat Lady interrupted "Never mind all that, go on in and get those two fools, for Godric's sake!"

After a hasty thanks, the two scrambled into the portrait hole, and Lily bellowed "Potter! Black!"

The two looked up, smirks on their faces, but they paled at the sight of Lily's face, no doubt angry, but also terrified. That and the presence of a stricken Mary with-was that Remus' cloak? - wrapped around her shoulders, made them jump to their feet, and meet the two just inside the almost empty common room. "What's going on?" asked James, looking at Mary "Aw, Lily, why'd you let them out?"

Lily's eyes narrowed and she repeated in disbelief and rage "Why'd I let them out? You fools, you arrogant fools. It's tonight. I just barely made it in time."

The boys paled, and their eyes flooded with understanding, and they looked at each other, devastated. "No…No, I can't believe we forgot. And we-Oh, Merlin, Lily if you hadn't been there…" said James, hollowly.

"Is he-still-has it happened yet?" said Sirius, panicked.

Lily shook her head, and said "He told me to get you guys, and tell you to hurry, and he started-" But the two boys were already sprinting out the portrait hole, and down the hall, more serious than she'd ever seen them.

She stood there in disbelief for a second, then collapsed into an armchair with her head in her hands.

Fate may have had been thwarted, or that may have been what was fated; at any rate, Lily knew that if she had stopped to get her jacket like she was considering, Mary would be dead, so would many others, maybe even her. That was a bit much to take in, so she felt she was entitled to a little bit of a breakdown.

Mary numbly sat down, opening her mouth to ask Lily-well, everything- but she closed it on seeing her friend's expression. So they sat there in silence, savoring memories, worrying and wondering as three people raced against nature itself to save a boy from himself, and possibly the world as well.

لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا. حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.

James and Sirius were already on their way-their friend needed them. They soon left the portrait hole far behind as they tore through the halls. "We never meant to-God, James. They were locked in. If Lily hadn't-It was never supposed to end up like this." said Sirius, panting and out of breath, his voice desperate.

"Padfoot, we locked an innocent girl in a broom closet with our best friend, who also happens to turn into a werewolf one night a month, tonight to be exact... Said werewolf is still not in the shrieking shack, is loose in a castle full of children and should be going full wolf in- about 3 minutes. I don't think now's the time to defend our actions, even to ourselves." said James shortly, panting himself.

They had reached the doors, and heedless of the outraged cries of caretaker Apollyon Pringle, sprinted towards the whomping willow, in front of which they could see the thankfully still human silhouette of their friend. The branches stopped moving abruptly, and Remus dashed inside. In about thirty seconds, his friends reached the tree and followed him, dropping down quickly into the tunnel and blindly stumbling forward as fast as they could, calling "Remus, we're right behind you! Changing now!"

There came a weak answer of "Oh, thank god." from further down, and then the two black haired boys shifted, one into a fully grown, silver-antlered stag, and one into a large, shaggy, muscular black dog. They sprang forward with all the speed their forms allowed them, and soon reached their struggling friend, near the trap-door to the shrieking shack. Padfoot anxiously licked the boy's limp hand as his other one struggled with the bolt on the door.

Remus looked down, and his eyes flashed with pain, rage, and bloodlust, then he simply looked tired. "Please..." he whispered to himself, half sobbing.

He finally got the bolt open, and all three struggled inside, and Remus threw the bolt closed again, panting heavily. No sooner had he done this, did a shudder run through him, and he seemed to grow, his face contorted, growing almost wolf-like for a second, and his hair flashed grey, and he snarled at the stag and the dog, advancing towards them with a hunger. Then it all receded and he was Remus again, struggling to hold the wolf back "It's strong tonight- too strong-it knows you're human!"

The wolf came again, and it advanced towards them, licking its chops hungrily, and then it slammed itself against a wall suddenly, and Remus was back, holding his side, shouting desperately at the two. "GET OUT! Get out of here, you guys. Tell Mary- I'm sorry-I'll be alright, just go, I can't hold it any longer, and I'm so sorry-GO!" His face was contorted with effort, his body shuddering and his eyes flashing between brown and red.

Reluctantly, the two shifted back into humans just long enough to throw the bolt back, jump through, and slam the trapdoor and bolt it. They lay there panting for a moment, and heard a roar, immediately followed by a scream, and the sound of a body slamming against the trapdoor and the weak, strangled cry of "GO!"

They came to their senses, transformed back into their animagus forms, and ran, far away from the sound of savage roars and screams coming from the trapdoor at the end of the tunnel. Once outside of the whomping willow, they stopped abruptly and changed into their human forms and kept running. The only difference was the hollow look in their eyes, and the pained expression on their faces, and the constant refrain of "It's our fault. All our fault."

They couldn't have told you who said it, or if it was even actually said. All they knew was that it was true, and nothing else was going through their minds. They were numb with shock, and they found their way automatically through the almost-empty corridors, not saying a word. And anyone who saw the two Marauders stumble into the common room a few minutes later knew better than to ask questions as they joined a stricken Lily and a shell-shocked Mary, still clutching Remus' cloak, in armchairs by the fire, staring out the window at the moon.

They knew that a terrible tragedy had been averted, but it certainly didn't feel like it. Mary was still confused, but knew better than to ask. When the two Marauders had arrived, Lily had half-risen, a question in her eyes, and when James mutely nodded, she had collapsed in the chair. Mary had looked questioningly at James, but he didn't meet her eyes, and neither did Sirius. No one spoke at all, except for James shaking himself and saying "Mary… He says he's sorry." He looked at her for a second, and for a moment, she saw clearly the guilt in his eyes, but then he looked away, and she was left searching for answers on the back of his head.

Eventually, Lily tapped Mary's shoulder, and pointed up the stairs, and Mary blankly nodded, still staring at James and Sirius, who still didn't meet her eyes, or even look at her. Lily tugged at her arm, and she reluctantly turned and went up the stairs to their dormitory, glancing over her shoulder at the two marauders who sat motionless in the armchairs by the fire, staring at the moon.

_~end~_

* * *

_ A/N: I'm baa-aack! Sorry about the awful little cliffies the past two times. I'm not as satisfied with this part as the others, but what the heck. _

_This has all been pre-written, but I'm approaching the end-or rather a gap between the climax and the epilogue/ ending. There will be reader participation soon, as I'm stuck, and not too terrily good at writing romance-pranks. Yes, both. ) _

_Thanks to my new reviewers, UniquelyX and LunaZola, rock on! Thanks again for reading._

_Love, Leviosa_


	6. Chapter 6

**Forgetfulness**

_**~ In which explanations are given~**_

_I don't own any of the characters, concepts, or franchises you may recognize. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

Once they were upstairs, Mary looked across the room at a snoring Marlene, then back at her red-headed friend, who had collapsed onto a bed. Mary gingerly sat down next to her, and looked at her friend. "Lily, I know this is hard. But you promised, and I need to know. What's going on, and why did Remus-Lily?" Lily had passed her hand over her eyes, and said tiredly "When did he remember? No, never mind, don't answer that. He didn't explain anything-at all?"

Mary shook her head "We were just talking, and- he gave me his cloak, because he saw I was shivering, and-"

Lily allowed herself a small smile, and asked amusedly "He gave you his cloak?"

Mary blushed. "Yeah."

Lily laughed, albeit a bit sadly. "Just like him, too. I'd press for details, but we should probably get on with it."

Mary continued "So, I said it must be getting late, already dark- and he- he- Lily, I thought he was going to faint there on the spot. He was backed into the wall, and slid down, and he was shaking, and-and what could make him react like that, what did I say?"

Lily was shaking her head sadly. "He must have thought- he couldn't bear- Oh, Remus…"

Mary looked at her friend, who motioned for her to continue. "Then he got angry, really terribly angry, at first at Black and Potter, and then at himself, and he was tearing his hair out, and it was like he didn't even know I was there. I tried to calm him down, and I told him, begged him to stop, and then he seemed to remember I was there, and he told me he was sorry, so sorry, and I didn't understand, I don't understand-" Mary's voice broke, and she swallowed a lump in her throat, unable to go on, while Lily watched her sadly.

She went on after a moment, saying "He asked me what time it was, and I told him, and he said something about being out of there by 6:36 or else, and then he told me again that he was sorry, and what do you say to that? So we sat there for a while, and he was just sitting there, with tears streaming down his face, and I didn't know what to do. Then, I thought I heard something, and he asked me if I heard footsteps, and we started pounding on the door, and calling for you, and we heard the footsteps getting closer, and he asked me the time, and then I told him, and he was so, so hopeful, and- Well, you know the rest."

Lily raised an eyebrow at her blushing friend, and said "Yeah, I do know the rest. I want to know exactly what led up to _that_ later. But Mary, you've got to understand, he-" Lily passed a hand over her eyes, blinking tiredly. "He should be telling you this, not me. But then, he'll make himself out to be some sort of monster, especially after tonight… Mary, you just barely came out of this alive, but it's no one's fault but- you know what, let's just start from the beginning, shall we?"

لا مانع لي، أنا مجرد فاصل أسطر، حتى لو كنت أنا في اللغة العربية، مما يجعلني تبدو باردة جدا.حتى إذا كنت تهتم لترجمة هذا، ويقول كلمة برتقال ذهبي في رأيك.

In the common room, the silence was broken by Sirius, who shook his head, his eyes still glued to the window "We really messed up, Prongs."

There was a silent nod, and then James said tiredly "I just can't believe it-what almost happened. It seems like some kind of bad dream. If it weren't for Lily, Mary would be dead, ripped to pieces by our best friend. So would a lot of others, and it- it would be our fault. And of course, he'd blame himself, he's still going to blame himself. And we're even powerless to help him now. This'll be his worst transformation since we started going with him. And it's all because-"

James put his head in his hands, and Sirius nodded, saying "I know. I know."

"So what do we do now?" asked James, looking around the empty common room.

Sirius shrugged, and said "Try to forget how badly we screwed up, and go to sleep?"

James looked up, surprised "Out here?"

Sirius looked at his watch "8 hours till moonset, and 9 till sunrise. We'll be waiting for him when he gets back, and we'll do just as well not-sleeping out here as we would up in the dorm. Why not?"

So there they were, and I suppose they underestimated their sheer exhaustion, because after about an hour of silence, the common room was filled with the obnoxiously loud snoring of two fifteen year old boys. Not that there was anyone awake to hear it.

Upstairs, Mary and Lily were still talking quietly, and after a while, they climbed into bed. But after about an hour, Mary got up, looked at her peacefully sleeping friends and made her way downstairs. Smiling slightly at the sight of the two boys splayed out drooling on the armchairs, she walked quietly over to the window.

She looked out over the grounds at the moon, bathing everything in its silver light, and she cursed it and its beauty and power, and she wondered at it, and everything that had happened and simply wondered. She stood there, silently and completely alone, and yet she could feel as if he was there, his peaceful, comforting presence beside her.

Now, whether this was coincidence, or some sixth sense, or just the fates playing their games, we'll never know, but something interrupted James' sleep, and he awoke with a start, and remembered where he was and what had happened. He noticed Mary standing there, and he elbowed Sirius, startling him awake. He put a finger to his lips, and pointed to the girl standing by the window.

They heard her whisper "But sometimes it gets lonely..." and put her hand to the glass, gazing out over the lake. They felt like they were intruding on something very private, and almost sacred, and they looked at each other, seeing now exactly who and what their friend had, that they'd almost killed, ruined…

She stood there, and they almost felt as though they should say something, but what could they say that would make any difference? So they simply sat there and eventually they fell back into deep sleep, while still she stood at the window, watching and waiting, a vigil of solitude, and wondering. If they were to remember anything about that night, it would be the image of Mary, gazing out over the grounds at midnight, reaching.

_~end~_

_A/N: Once again, not as satisfied with this one as some of the others. I'd really like you guys to be honest because I'm just that naive that I have no idea how this situation would feel. I live a sheltered life, and I'm only... er, a young age... I don't have a boyfriend, so I have no way of knowing if I'm getting that dynamic of longing/pity/love/sorrow/worry right. There's just so much complexity and intensity to this situation and I can feel it but I just don't know if I did it justice. I know I flubbed up at some parts with Lily and Mary's interaction, but more than that the tone just jumped around too much in that chapter, but I don't know exactly where I went wrong, or how to fix it! So... could you tell me?_

_Anyhow, next chapter will be up either tomorrow or on monday, and it features a very pissed off werewolf and his sheepish friends, an abusive Lily, and a frustrated Mary._

_LunaZola, you made me laugh and blush with your reviews, and knowing people care what happens next makes the updates flow. Thanks for reading!_

_Love, Leviosa_


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